When you feel sorry for yourself, in addition to wasting time, you are sucking life out of your relationship. When you say “Life isn’t fair,” the reality is that is correct, life is unfair. When you say, “Nobody knows the pain that I’ve suffered,” then you are seducing people into feeling sorry for you. Decide that it is now time for you to become a grown up. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and start validating what is good rather than whining about what is bad. “Poor me” will suck energy out of a relationship so turn it around and breathe life into it.