If you think about your relationship with your mate and one or both of you is full of contempt for the other, that absolutely will kill the relationship. It is the most toxic thing you can do. If you think about contempt, think about disgust. If one or both of you, while the other is talking, rolls your eyes, or immediately discounts any initiative at all, and all you are thinking about is contempt, your relationship is doomed. My recommendation is to stop this nonsense right now and end the relationship or go get some professional help. The likelihood that you are going to fix this without help is remote. So take this seriously, fix it!