When you become hostage to fear and then deliberately choose to be dependent, you stay in an emotional prison that makes you miserable and weak.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
THE PRISON OF DEPENDENCY
The fascinating thing is how many people deliberately opt for a dependency existence either personally, professionally, emotionally, and/ or financially… then they spend their lives complaining and remaining hostage to the very condition for which they opted.
Some examples to consider:
Government Workers (the Public Sector) – They often tend to go down a path that is often predetermined. They trade in their control over destiny for the illusion that job security is worth it. Then they are mostly rewarded by how LONG they have been working, rather than how WELL they are working. Many often remain miserable people and expect a predictable pay grade, lifestyle, etc., all the while remaining malcontents simply because they choose to remain hostage to a situation that keeps them dependent. Moreover, since it is often impossible to get fired in the public sector, their commitment to excellence is eroded, because of the group pressure to join the union of the mediocre.
Good-looking Women (sex objects) who seek out rich men (success objects) – Many of these women often go after men with money to gain the dependence on financial security (an illusion of safety), however, once they get the commitment they want from the man, many tend to change and treat the guy badly… they become critical, demanding, disapproving, and pejorative simply because they are dependent and are now “hostage” in their heads, to the man. The very dependency they wanted is the very situation that now reminds them of their own weakness. Therefore, they blame the guy, spend his money, and treat him badly. (The more you give up responsibility for yourself, the more it makes you continually blame others for your condition that you chose.)
Healthcare Workers, Shift Workers at the Company Plant, and Retail Service Representatives. For example, thirty years ago, being a flight attendant was a glamorous job with great pay, perks and benefits.
Over the years things have clearly changed… working conditions, passenger behavior, grooming, standards of conduct, physical condition, and the entire traveling experience. I think this job is the last thing many flight attendants thought they would be doing thirty years later. Clearly many of them appear to often feel hostage to the job because of seniority, vesting, or they are clueless as to what else they would be doing. This has made many of them bitter and filled with TDC (Thinly Disguised Contempt). Therefore, it appears many often want the customers to enjoy their unhappiness. Once again, the very dependency they opted for has made them hostage and therefore, weak, powerless, and unhappy.
Divorce Agreements – It is clear that couples who are unable to reach agreement in divorce settlements are often very unhappy and complaining when the final disillusion decision is made by the courts. The more the couple is dependent on the decisions of the judge, the more it creates anger and complaints. On he other hand, couples who take responsibility together to arrive at acceptable divorce settlements tend to accept the results and move on with their lives with less complaining and going back to court.
The Fabric of Society
As so many more people continue to adopt the ENTITLEMENT attitude where the “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?” perspective becomes ubiquitous, I expect that more and more people will give up control over their lives to government, disability support, workers compensation fraud, dipping into the public treasury, unions, welfare, entitlements, etc., which simply continues to insure their unhappiness/misery as a consequence of wanting to be dependent. As more people opt to be dependent, they want to be taken care of, and therefore, their initiative, self-respect, performance, and control over their lives evaporates. Thus the omnipresent dependency addiction simply sucks the life out of society.
Presently, according to a recent article, 48% of all families in the U.S. today are dipping into the public treasury somehow. This means that approximately half of the population is opting to be dependent on the other half… all while complaining and whining. And, certainly the half that is paying is getting really tired of enabling the dependent people to remain dependent and whining.
It also appears curious that the half that is paying is called “greedy” while the receiving half is called “entitled.”
So it seems that people with dependency addiction have three options:
- Continue as they are, expect to be dependent, play the victim, avoid responsibility for their lives, and keep complaining / whining. (Remember, when you choose the dependency, you choose the consequences.)
- Continue the dependency behavior, except quit the complaining and whining. Simply accept the security and keep quiet.
- Decide to take more responsibility / control for their lives and future, act more independent, take more initiative, and be more proactive. Spend less time describing the problem and more time solving it.
As Abraham Lincoln said,
- You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
- You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
- You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
- You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
- You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
- You cannot build character and courage by taking away people’s initiative and independence.
- You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
It is time for us as a large group of citizens to grow up, establish more backbone, take responsibility for ourselves, appreciate what we have, put a premium on self-respect and quit demanding to be taken care of.
Further, if you choose to remain dependent, then quit complaining about the very condition for which you opted.
Only when you take responsibility for your life, the cards that are dealt, your behavior, your decisions, and your future can you develop some real solid self-respect.
And, self-respect is critical if you want to feel good about what you see in the mirror.
IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR STRENGTH OF CHARACTER!
IT’S COMMON SENSE… And remember, Common Sense is very uncommon!
HILARIOUS DATING ADS FOR SENIORS
Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper. You can say what you want about Florida, but you rarely hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in ”The Villages” Florida newspaper. (Who says seniors lack a sense of humor?)
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5’6″), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband. Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting,shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.