One of the most important axioms of life is: LIFE IS OFTEN ABOUT LEARNING LESSONS, AND LESSONS WILL BE REPEATED UNTIL THEY ARE LEARNED.
This could clearly suggest that it would be COMMON SENSE to learn the lessons with all dispatch. On the other hand, common sense is very uncommon.
This axiom certainly seems to apply to most all of us, and if you think about the development of the human species over the last few thousand years, it can be successfully argued that these lessons continue to be repeated with entirely too little progress in the “LEARNING” department, particularly when it comes to how people conduct themselves around one another.
So, let’s take a look at how we might learn lessons sooner and more effectively in order to make faster course corrections and improvements in our lives.
Most of us want to succeed, and in addition, we generally want to AVOID FAILURE in life. Yet WHEN WE FAIL, WE ARE LIKELY TO LEARN THE MOST LESSONS, if we learn them at all.
Therefore, consider the following options and decide which is more likely to help us learn lessons sooner.
- Striving to succeed and avoiding anything that might look like failure
- Routinely paying attention to your failures and asking yourself about the lessons learned
Most of the time, we hate dealing with failure because we might look bad, receive disapproval, and feel shame/guilt/inferior/stupid/embarrassed/inadequate, etc. And, much of the time, for fear of failure, we often GIVE UP BEFORE WE START. For example, the biggest fear that most of us have is public speaking. “I’m so afraid that I will fail in front of those people that I refuse to ever get up there, make the presentation, and make a fool of myself!”
So, when we avoid trying it, we fail to learn the lessons and remain afraid. Which means we continue with the INSANITY routine: doing the same bad habit, with the same bad outcome, with the illusion that if we keep doing it that same way, we will achieve a different outcome.
Here are some conclusions for your consideration.
- If we learn the important lessons at all, they are likely to come from failures.
- Failures are required to improve and to begin solving problems.
- We must confront and harvest failures to learn the lessons.
You have routinely read or become aware of stories about successful people who failed a lot before they became successful. And, the really successful people are often quoted with their ongoing desire to embrace failure in order to learn lessons and keep improving.
Besides, who (beyond you) really cares about your failures, setbacks, and embarrassments?
Think about dancing. How often have you avoided getting out on the dance floor for fear that you might look stupid? You either hug the wall or wait for the dance floor to fill up, at which time you might consider getting out there — as long as you have consumed enough cocktails. You are afraid to get on the dance floor for fear that people will think you dance poorly.
In reality, you are likely the only one who really cares about how well you dance! You are overly concerned about “what they will think.” THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME YOU WASTE BY AVOIDING SOMETHING THAT COULD BE FUN… like dancing!
Consider the following:
If you actually do get on the dance floor first, are you ever going to find out “what they think”? Will you go take a survey? Hardly!
“Excuse me, Table 6, as you know, I was on the dance floor first, and of course you were looking at me. I am keen to know, how did I do?” Will Table 6 ever take the initiative on their own to tell you how you did? NO!
“Hey, you on the dance floor, do yourself and us a favor and GET OFF THE FLOOR. THIS IS EMBARRASSING!” It is highly doubtful that you will EVER find out what they think and furthermore, as you remember the last several dances you attended, CAN YOU REALLY REMEMBER WHO GOT ON THE DANCE FLOOR FIRST? No! What you were likely doing is waiting for the floor to fill up so you could feel less anxious and perhaps gather the courage to get out there yourself.
Ask yourself a question, why do people dance? To have FUN of course. And now you might have to conclude that you are reluctant to go do something that might be FUN (dance) for fear of something you will NEVER find out!
Finally, remember that dancing is fun, and especially fun when you do it well. SO, GO GET DANCE LESSONS! You will likely dance poorly at first, yet with lessons and practice, you will gain more confidence, style, and willingness to dance! Moreover, if you are in a committed relationship, and you both get dance lessons, you will experience a closer, more intimate, and more comfortable union with one another! How great is that?
Would you rather play it safe and avoid potential failures, or would you prefer to embrace the failures to learn lessons and improve?
FAILING IS A PART OF LIFE. IT IS RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. Those failures are more likely to get your attention when it is time to learn the lessons and adjust the dial on how you are living your life.
So, start thinking that failing is doing you a favor, so that you can continue with lifelong learning! You learn the lessons, do the course corrections, and get on with ongoing improvements in your life! LESS INSANITY REPLACED BY MORE FUN!