It is difficult enough to make a marriage good, and when it is void of empathy, it’s really difficult.  So, what do you do?  If you think about it, what you want to do is get out of your shoes and get into your partners shoes and try to imagine what they are feeling like.  Rather than getting defensive and immediately getting to that contest of who’s right, instead, say something like this, “That must be difficult” or “I can appreciate why you think that way.”  When you spend more time empathizing on the front end you’re going to get much better results on the back end.  Just simply spend more time empathizing before you come up with your idea.  You will have by far better results and a much happier marriage.