If you are like most people in relationships, you spend an enormous amount of time trying to change somebody else.  As a matter of fact, in most American marriages, you’ll notice that at least 80% of them have at least one person in the marriage that is self-appointed to fix the other person.  And you’ll notice that the person who is presumably broken is completely unaware of it and has zero intention of being fixed.  If you really want to change any kind of relationship, what you do is change yourself first.  When you change your behavior, you have a lot more power over it and you are much more likely to now force people to behave differently.  So, change yourself first and you will see a by far, bigger cascade of change around you by everybody else.