Foundations of Common Sense

Do What You Know!

In my many years in this profession, I am continually amazed, amused, and ultimately bewildered with how often people fail to practice Common Sense.                                               

Most all of us know what Common Sense is. It is obvious, pragmatic, practical, logical, prudent, and reflecting sound judgement. It is often right in front of our face! It’s so OBVIOUS, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS.

Though we know what Common Sense is, too many of us fail to actually apply and practice Common Sense.  We drop the ball when it comes to DOING WHAT WE KNOW.

Something happens when we snatch a rationalization from the jaws of logic.  We stall and lie to ourselves that we will get around to doing it real soon.

Instead, we continually practice insanity. We keep doing the same thing again and again with the illusion that if we keep doing that same thing we will encounter a different result.  INSANITY!!!

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YOU ARE PREVENTING WHAT YOU WANT

When You Want Connection and Reinforcement from Others

Do you want to be complimented, loved, admired, and respected?

You may be unaware that you are continually preventing the very thing you want.

After several decades of experience in my psychotherapy practice helping people to achieve much more functional lives and satisfying relationships, it is clear to me that virtually everyone wants the same thing.   Read more

LEARN TO SAY “NO!”

Most of us have real difficulty saying “NO.”

When we say “YES” rather than “NO” (which is often what we really want to say,) we get caught in a bind of one of the following:

  • We have enabled the other person(s) to take advantage of us.
  • We feel conflicted because they are perfectly able to do the work themselves and yet they want to be rescued… and we accommodate them.
  • They are sometimes playing “victim,” (a very popular state of mind these days) where they want to be saved, and we save them because we feel guilty.
  • We are more willing to be nice, popular, and helpful rather than encouraging the other person to solve the issue themselves.

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IT’S YOUR LIFE! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER!

Oh my!  Do you notice what is going on around the world and especially in the United States? 

  • People are routinely being gunned down in churches, synagogues, theaters, entertainment events, schools, companies, governments, and homes.
  • Parents are attempting to bribe universities in order to gain admission for their children.
  • Highly respected manufacturers are being accused of significant crimes and misdemeanors while they betray their markets, deny everything, and attempt to defend themselves.
  • Politicians seem to be more interested in keeping their jobs, rather than actually doing their jobs. 

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Breaking News!

Here is something pretty terrific! I am so tickled!

I have just been featured in the California Business Journal — front page. I encourage you to take a look at it and let me know your thoughts.

Click here: California Business Journal

Many thanks to all of you for your ongoing interest and support. It is most appreciated!

At your service,

Dr. J. Mitchell Perry

How to Remember Names

Remembering their names… we all have trouble with this one.

How often do you notice that you forget people’s names? You will be at a reception and meet someone, and he will say, “Hello, my name is Steve Harrison.”  You will respond, “It is nice to meet you.” Then after five minutes of conversation you will have already forgotten his name.  Red Alert!

How embarrassing! Now you feel stupid because you just met this guy and are unable to remember his name.

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Failures and Life’s Lessons

One of the most important axioms of life is: LIFE IS OFTEN ABOUT LEARNING LESSONS, AND LESSONS WILL BE REPEATED UNTIL THEY ARE LEARNED.

This could clearly suggest that it would be COMMON SENSE to learn the lessons with all dispatch. On the other hand, common sense is very uncommon.

This axiom certainly seems to apply to most all of us, and if you think about the development of the human species over the last few thousand years, it can be successfully argued that these lessons continue to be repeated with entirely too little progress in the “LEARNING” department, particularly when it comes to how people conduct themselves around one another.

So, let’s take a look at how we might learn lessons sooner and more effectively in order to make faster course corrections and improvements in our lives.

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I LIKE TO THINK / I LIKE TO BELIEVE / I LIKE TO PRETEND

When we were little, we loved to pretend. In fact, we really enjoyed playing “let’s pretend” with our friends. We associate having fun with those memories, and often still daydream and take pleasure in fantasizing about our lives, our future, and our circumstances.

The good news is that pretending is fun; it allows us to dream, fantasize, and believe in the magic. The bad news is, sometimes we hide in pretending as a method to avoid dealing with reality.

REMEMBER, there is always a gap between how life should be and how life is. That gap can be small or huge. When we pretend to excess, we imagine how life is supposed to be… and we often get lost in those imaginations. Read more

Hiring for Character

HIRING for CHARACTER

What do you do when you have an important position to fill?

If you are like most people, you post an open position on your favorite job site or call the local recruiter with the specifications for the position.

How much do you really know about what you are getting when you plow through a mountain of resumes?

A resume can tell you whether the person is capable of performing the job.  A resume is unable to tell you much about the person behind it.

Can you afford to make the wrong hiring decision? What do you do when you have to fire someone?  Are you able to fire them or are they protected by a collective bargaining agreement, tenure or other reason?  Read more

Constructive Criticism

Here is something you have received from others many times over the span of your life:

  • Can I give you some constructive criticism?
  • May I offer some constructive criticism?
  • I have some constructive criticism if you would like to hear it.
  • How would you like to hear some constructive feedback about what you just did?

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