Hello All,
If you need to be perfect and the thought of alphabetizing your cans of soup gets you all tingly and excited, then go ahead and obsess about order.
On the other hand, you might want to attach some Common Sense to your perfection obsession.
Happy Turkey Day!
Dr. Mitchell Perry Read more
Hello:
What would you rather do:
operate from weakness and remain afraid of disapproval, or
operate from strength and trust your judgment?
Dr. Mitchell Perry Read more
When we get reinforcement from others, most of us routinely discount and invalidate the compliments. The paradox is that we prevent the very thing we want.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
ACCEPTING COMPLIMENTS YOUR SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY Read more
Hello:
EXERCISE?
EMBRACE THE OBVIOUS!
Remember: DOING IT RIGHT IS SECONDARY!
DOING IT IS PRIMARY.
It is easier to turn the boat to make course corrections and improvements after the boat is moving.
Dr. J. Mitchell Perry
NEED TO EXERCISE?
BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Read more
The cooperation conundrum:
Among the most insane habits we humans
practice is to prevent the very thing we want
and disallow the very thing that works.
Dr. J. Mitchell Perry
ASKING FOR HELP Read more
If you routinely take things personally, you may often believe whatever just happened must be involving you somehow… so ask yourself a question, ‘Am I that big a deal? Is it really about me again?’
Dr. Mitchell Perry
TAKING THINGS TOO PERSONALLY Read more
When you become hostage to fear and then deliberately choose to be dependent, you stay in an emotional prison that makes you miserable and weak.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
THE PRISON OF DEPENDENCY
The fascinating thing is how many people deliberately opt for a dependency existence either personally, professionally, emotionally, and/ or financially… then they spend their lives complaining and remaining hostage to the very condition for which they opted.
Some examples to consider:
Government Workers (the Public Sector) – They often tend to go down a path that is often predetermined. They trade in their control over destiny for the illusion that job security is worth it. Then they are mostly rewarded by how LONG they have been working, rather than how WELL they are working. Many often remain miserable people and expect a predictable pay grade, lifestyle, etc., all the while remaining malcontents simply because they choose to remain hostage to a situation that keeps them dependent. Moreover, since it is often impossible to get fired in the public sector, their commitment to excellence is eroded, because of the group pressure to join the union of the mediocre.
Good-looking Women (sex objects) who seek out rich men (success objects) – Many of these women often go after men with money to gain the dependence on financial security (an illusion of safety), however, once they get the commitment they want from the man, many tend to change and treat the guy badly… they become critical, demanding, disapproving, and pejorative simply because they are dependent and are now “hostage” in their heads, to the man. The very dependency they wanted is the very situation that now reminds them of their own weakness. Therefore, they blame the guy, spend his money, and treat him badly. (The more you give up responsibility for yourself, the more it makes you continually blame others for your condition that you chose.)
Healthcare Workers, Shift Workers at the Company Plant, and Retail Service Representatives. For example, thirty years ago, being a flight attendant was a glamorous job with great pay, perks and benefits.
Over the years things have clearly changed… working conditions, passenger behavior, grooming, standards of conduct, physical condition, and the entire traveling experience. I think this job is the last thing many flight attendants thought they would be doing thirty years later. Clearly many of them appear to often feel hostage to the job because of seniority, vesting, or they are clueless as to what else they would be doing. This has made many of them bitter and filled with TDC (Thinly Disguised Contempt). Therefore, it appears many often want the customers to enjoy their unhappiness. Once again, the very dependency they opted for has made them hostage and therefore, weak, powerless, and unhappy.
Divorce Agreements – It is clear that couples who are unable to reach agreement in divorce settlements are often very unhappy and complaining when the final disillusion decision is made by the courts. The more the couple is dependent on the decisions of the judge, the more it creates anger and complaints. On he other hand, couples who take responsibility together to arrive at acceptable divorce settlements tend to accept the results and move on with their lives with less complaining and going back to court.
The Fabric of Society
As so many more people continue to adopt the ENTITLEMENT attitude where the “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?” perspective becomes ubiquitous, I expect that more and more people will give up control over their lives to government, disability support, workers compensation fraud, dipping into the public treasury, unions, welfare, entitlements, etc., which simply continues to insure their unhappiness/misery as a consequence of wanting to be dependent. As more people opt to be dependent, they want to be taken care of, and therefore, their initiative, self-respect, performance, and control over their lives evaporates. Thus the omnipresent dependency addiction simply sucks the life out of society.
Presently, according to a recent article, 48% of all families in the U.S. today are dipping into the public treasury somehow. This means that approximately half of the population is opting to be dependent on the other half… all while complaining and whining. And, certainly the half that is paying is getting really tired of enabling the dependent people to remain dependent and whining.
It also appears curious that the half that is paying is called “greedy” while the receiving half is called “entitled.”
So it seems that people with dependency addiction have three options:
As Abraham Lincoln said,
It is time for us as a large group of citizens to grow up, establish more backbone, take responsibility for ourselves, appreciate what we have, put a premium on self-respect and quit demanding to be taken care of.
Further, if you choose to remain dependent, then quit complaining about the very condition for which you opted.
Only when you take responsibility for your life, the cards that are dealt, your behavior, your decisions, and your future can you develop some real solid self-respect.
And, self-respect is critical if you want to feel good about what you see in the mirror.
IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR STRENGTH OF CHARACTER!
IT’S COMMON SENSE… And remember, Common Sense is very uncommon!
Today’s Tickle
HILARIOUS DATING ADS FOR SENIORS
Dating Ads for Seniors found in a Florida Newspaper. You can say what you want about Florida, but you rarely hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in ”The Villages” Florida newspaper. (Who says seniors lack a sense of humor?)
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FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty. 80’s, slim, 5’4″ (used to be 5’6″), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
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LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband. Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting,shortness of breath not a problem.
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SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
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BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
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MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
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My favorite…
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.
HO! HO! HO!
JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE…OMG, HERE COMES KRIS KRINGLE!
It’s time for Santa, and yuletide, and spending the money,
For presents, and cookies, and egg nog so yummy,
Of your wishes, and daydreams, and caroling bright,
Will you hide in the shadows, or sing out loud in the light?
Out grumpy, out whiny, cease your complaining,
On Rudolf, on tinsel, t’is the season champagning!
Around doubters and cynics, to “believe” is so fickle,
You must now spread some cheer, and create a fun tickle!
Now if you encounter a fat man, who’s jolly and cute, Wearing a beard and a smile, and a red flannel suit,
If he’s chuckling, and giggling, and laughing away, While flying around in the night, in a magical sleigh,
With eight magic reindeer, to pull him along, Then perhaps it could be, that your eggnog’s too strong!
Yet consider the options, make your choice unafraid,
Climb aboard Santa’s sleigh, and be in the parade!
When your life is so touched, it’s the way of the heart,
Be sure you touch many, right from the start!
On our sleigh ride together, measure for measure,
Instead of “not bad”, it’s indeed been OUR PLEASURE!
May you and yours have a VERY MERRY PERRY HOLIDAY!
MERRY MERRY FROM JM PERRY!
Cheers,
Dr. Mitchell Perry
Change Yourself First
How often do you find yourself complaining about someone you wish would change? Do you wish your spouse would simply pick up the dirty clothes and put them in the hamper? Your mother would quit being so critical about virtually everything? Your boss would throw you a bone and give you a bit of credit? Sound familiar?
Notice how much energy you spend trying to get these people to change. Your dedication to the “people fixing rehabilitation project” is quite impressive, yet, as you know, this project is destined to fail. THE MORE YOU TRY TO CHANGE SOMEONE, THE MORE THEY PUSHBACK, RESIST YOUR EFFORTS, AND STAY THE SAME.
What to do? Change yourself and your behavior FIRST. You know for certain that you have more power over changing your own behavior anyway. Furthermore, when you change your own behavior, you frequently force those around you to adjust and change as well.
Consider the following examples:
You want your wife to quit being so critical of you. Has it occurred to you that you help her remain critical because you are often critical of her? So change yourself first. Write your wife a letter telling her all the things you appreciate about her. Then watch… her behavior is likely to change. Furthermore, when she is criticizing, leave her alone with her misery. Let her enjoy her unhappiness by herself. She is more likely to choose having your company than risk losing it by continuing to criticize you.
You want your husband to pick up the laundry and put it in the hamper. Yet every time he fails to do it you jump in and take care of it yourself. You wonder why his behavior remains the same. You are teaching him how to treat you. What to do? Change yourself first. Put the clothes in a pile on his pillow. Put the hamper on the front seat of his car, or file a lawsuit against your spouse with a charge of “irreconcilable laundry differences!” Then watch… your spouse is likely to think twice about dirty laundry and expect you to always take care of it.
The message is this: When you make it policy to regularly consider what YOU can do differently, the world becomes a different place.
You can move mountains with a single thought. Change yourself and your contribution first… and watch the mountains move!
Today’s Tickle
THIS IS GREAT!
You think English is easy???
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
When you have a dilemma in your life, the solutions, the answers, the strategies, and the magic are in the OBVIOUS – and yet the OBVIOUS is OBVIOUS to everyone but you!
It’s Common Sense and remember, Common Sense is very Uncommon.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
Embrace the Obvious
One of the most curious things about people is their difficulty in recognizing what’s right in front of their faces. Do you ever notice that when you are looking for your keys, they are in your hand? Or when you want to find your glasses, they are sitting right on top of your head? If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is this: “THE MAGIC IS IN THE OBVIOUS.” That means: the answer to your dilemma is often right in front of your face. Your job is to look and find it. Then… DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Example: If you tend to be pessimistic, how much time are you spending complaining or feeling sorry for yourself?
If your business is doing poorly, how much are you contributing to poor customer service? How much are you actually helping the customer be dissatisfied?
If your marriage is one where you feel emotionally malnourished, how much are you withholding nourishment yourself? Or expecting nourishment from a spouse who is ill equipped to give it to you?
If you are tired going up a flight of stairs, how much do you need to lose weight and get in shape?
The answers are often so obvious that we have trouble seeing them. What is even more curious is that everyone else can see what’s right in front of you except you.
So, what to do?
So the message is this: Embrace the Obvious! There’s magic when you recognize what is right in front of your face, THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Today’s Tickle
PUN0GRAPHY
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.
· I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro – what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Hello!
To differentiate your brand… you must be entirely different from everyone else (instead of simply “better”) and your behavior most impacts the market, and their perception of you.
It’s Common Sense and remember, Common Sense is very Uncommon.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
Differentiating Behaviors
How are you different? What can you do to set yourself apart?
How many of these traits differentiate you in the eyes of YOUR customer? Which ones do you need to work on the most? Which ones already come easily to you?
Consider the following: If you can find out what your customer wants in his terms and then find a way to give it to him, you will succeed where others fail. This is the secret to all effective sales efforts. Sales is less about selling what you have to your client, but all about encouraging your client to buy what he wants from you. Remember, you want to create “The Pull” and avoid the push.
Today’s Tickle
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old
boy submitted to McDonald’s in Florida… and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
Name: Greg Bulmash
Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
Desired Position: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes
Last Position Held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I’m worth
Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Reason for Leaving: It sucked.
Hours Available to Work: Any.
Preferred Hours: 1:30 – 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Do You Have Any Special Skills? Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
May We Contact Your Current Employer? If I had one, would I be here?
Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting Up to 50 LBS?
Of What?
Do You Have A Car? I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
Have You Received Any Special Awards or Recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Do You Smoke? On the job, no; on my breaks, yes.
What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
Do You Certify That The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge? Yes. Absolutely.
Sign Here: Aries