Amplifying Your Persuasive Influence with The Magic of “Seduction”

Part 3 of The Art of Persuasion: “THE PULL©” – Universal Influence Series

 Sometimes when you encounter people you will notice that they seem to have the “Magic.” They have that idiosyncratic special gift of personal genius that makes them powerful, influential, entertaining, persuasive, and seemingly supernatural.

People with that gift make us happy, laugh, excited, entertained, and willing and eager to buy what they are selling. A popular term about people like that is “he can sell igloos to Eskimos!”

Have you ever looked at how they do what they do? Have you ever noticed what makes you get so impacted and persuaded when they are around?

I call people like that SEDUCTIVE and you will often pay good money to get the experience of being SEDUCED!

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Telling = Push; Persuasion = Pull

Think about how you try to persuade anyone to do anything.  Most of the time when you try to advise, recommend, urge, suggest, or persuade anyone to take your advice, you PUSH, you TELL, you routinely give answers.  And, you may end up bewildered because very often, your answers are accurate and wise, you are well-intended, and your advice is in their best interest.

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EFFECTIVE LISTENING

Listening!  It’s what everyone wants in all relationships — business and personal — spouses want it most in each other, customers want it in customer service, bosses and subordinates want it from each other.

So what is going on?

Most of us spend our time rehearsing a response rather than listening to what was said… insanity!

So start learning to listen!

It’s Common Sense and remember, Common Sense is very Uncommon.

Dr. Mitchell Perry

Effective Listening

Are you a good communicator?

Communication Facts:
Effective Communication is fundamental to successful relationships – both personal and professional
We all communicate daily in some capacity to others
Most people are poor communicators
We get little if any training in effective communication
Yogi Berra once said, “Communication is 90% listening and the other half is talking.”

To the degree to which you can improve your listening skills you will immediately become a better communicator.

Listening is all about Selective Perception.

Selective Perception means viewing the world through a set of filters (culture, background, mood, attitude, emotions, etc.).  You see what you want to see.  You hear what you want to hear.

Keep in mind there are two levels of communication:

CONTENT — The Data — The Facts
What is said:  This is the basic factual data, without
any packaging.

CONTEXT — The Intent — The Packaging
How it is said:  When we notice context signals that
are more familiar to us, we naturally feel more
comfortable and have more rapport.

People respond far more to context than content so remain aware of the signals, the tone, volume, pitch, speed, expressions, body language, etc.  We are all programmed to respond to contextual signals so be aware of the signals you are giving and receiving.  They may convey a different message than you intend.  In every conversation remain conscious of the speaker’s content and context to be sure you get the right message.

Learn to Listen!  It is critical to make sure you understand others correctly.  Effective listening generates the following results:
It reduces the margin of error on what we heard
It allows the person who was speaking to us to reduce their defenses and relax
It helps keep the interchange on track
Remember, Listening is the best way to get your point across!

Today’s Tickle

The following questions were set in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons:
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on:
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

ENGAGING “THE PULL”

Hello,

Remember, when it comes to persuading others, there is a BIG difference between what is supposed to work and WHAT DOES. Use “The Pull” and LET THEM HAVE YOUR WAY.

Dr. Mitchell Perry  

 The Art of Ultimate Persuasion:
Engaging “The Pull”

When you are in a conversation with someone who is speaking, do you find yourself just waiting for him or her to stop talking so you can start?  And, while you are waiting are you rehearsing your beautifully prepared gospel according to you?

How often are you trying to force-feed others with your opinions?  Are you telling more than listening?  Does it often seem frustrating that people resist your advice and refuse to change?

You know your intentions are good, and your advice is great!  What gives?  What is wrong with these people?

Well, remember what Stephen Covey says in his
7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then be understood.”  The message here is that you are much more likely to get others to change when they conclude it makes sense to do so.  If you first understand them, they will be less resistant to your ideas and suggestions when you make them.

If you want others to change, you must ask first, and be prepared to listen.
1.   Ask first what is important to them, what’s on their mind, how do they feel, what’s going on, etc.
2.   Then listen.  Understand, empathize, learn, and appreciate their position.
3.   Then steer them to better conclusions.

It’s remarkable how much more receptive others will be toward your position when they have been heard first and understood.

So the message here is this:  When you are interested in persuading others and the issues are important to you, FIRST ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN.  When you do this, people will be less resistant to change and more likely to adjust their position and follow your suggestions.

When you “Pull” (instead of “push”) you “LET THEM HAVE YOUR WAY.”


Today’s Tickle

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who use more powerful weapons.
The 50-50-90 Rule:  Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine tax is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of people who lacked enough intelligence to get out of jury duty.