“I take things too personally” is a remark I hear frequently from my patients, associates, colleagues, and friends. Many people become hypersensitive, defensive, and full of self-doubt because of this problem.   

• If you fail to get an invitation to lunch, a party, or a wedding, do you take it personally and then doubt yourself and your popularity?

• If someone else gets the contract, do you believe you have failed to deliver?

• If your boss forgets to say good morning, do you automatically think that he/she is angry with you?

• If your spouse comes home crabby, do you feel responsible, guilty, irritated, defensive, or crabby yourself?

• If your guests want to go home early, does that immediately suggest they dislike your company?

• If your daughter is unhappy, do you start concluding that you have to be unhappy in order to show her how much you care?

• If several of your colleagues are going to lunch together and you are not invited, do you worry they will talk about you at lunch?

We can have our whole day ruined because someone else’s behavior rubs off on us and we feel responsible. We find that whenever someone else is upset, we feel great pressure that somehow we are to blame. As a result, we take their behavior personally, which makes us defensive, anxious, miserable, and insecure.

It is important to gain some understanding as to the root of this problem and look at some possible reasons why we become hypersensitive and take things too personally. With this understanding, you will gain some valuable perspective on how to handle the problem more effectively. 

Consider these roots of taking things too personally:   Read more