So you are in midlife and you notice life goes by so fast!
What’s the point? What really matters anyway?
Answer: Touching people’s lives and getting your life touched.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
Balancing Your Life
Most people want to be happy and successful. Ask yourself what that would mean to you. When you think of being quite happy what images come to mind? In addition, what does being very successful look like? Furthermore, what’s the point?
HAPPINESS IS CLOSENESS. When you think about experiences in life in which you were really happy, there were probably people in your memory and you were happy in large part because you felt CLOSE to those people. The closer you feel to people you care about, the happier you are. So, one objective in life is to establish, build, and maintain some quality and nourishing CLOSENESS in your relationships. Closeness is usually found and developed in your personal life.
SUCCESS IS ACHIEVEMENT. When you think of times in your life when you felt quite successful, you probably thought of things you achieved. Creating a goal and achieving it builds a solid sense of identity, strength, and autonomy. Continually achieving goals builds confidence and purpose which develops the self and creates independence. So, another objective in life is to continually realize success by realizing ACHIEVEMENTS. Success is usually found in your professional life.
CREATING BALANCE. Some form of balance between both dimensions of personal and professional life is essential for optimum success and happiness. People who are highly professionally successful (always achieving) but always personally unhappy (estranged, isolated, unconnected from people) are unbalanced on the success side. They often end up driven and angry. They must start creating valuable CLOSENESS to fix it.
Likewise, people who are personally very happy (close with significant people) yet very professionally unsuccessful (unable / unwilling to achieve anything) are unbalanced on the happiness side. They usually end up dependent, clingy, and fearful. They must begin to ACHIEVE things to fix it.
DEVELOP MEANING. Fulfillment in life comes when there is clear and evident meaning to your existence. Write down your basic governing values. Contribute something to society as part of paying the rent for your time here. Commit to something larger than yourself and watch the development of grace. Life is really about touching lives and getting your life touched as a result.
Develop closeness, commit to achieving, and life becomes balanced.
Then contribute to society in some way with your time, resources, and grace. Meaning emerges and so does fulfillment.
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