The Most Powerful Key to Resolve Conflict, Reach Agreements, Persuade Others, and Engage Recovery… CREATE MULTIPLE OPTIONS

Do you notice how often it appears difficult to DECIDE WITH SOMEONE WHERE YOU WILL GO TO DINNER?  With your spouse, it may sound something like this:

You: “Where do you want to go to dinner?”

Spouse: “I don’t care.”

You: “Ok, why don’t we go to Alfredo’s?”

Spouse: “Hmmmmm. NO!”

You: “Ok then, so where do you want to go?”

Spouse: “I told you, I DON’T CARE!”  (Of course, you are now both infected with that chronic and familiar state of mind where nothing sounds good!)

You: (As you are becoming increasingly crabby and impatient and you start imagining what you now might want to say.)  Ok, so why don’t I go to Alfredo’s and you stay home!!!”         

Now both of you are cranky, defensive, and whatever appetite you may have had has evaporated!  

Does this sound familiar? 

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Staying Focused and Effective during this Global Pandemic Crisis 2020

How do we start effectively coping with our anxiety, fear, catastrophizing, awfulizing, and obsessing?

How do we live with less, manage in the meantime, do the maintenance on our relationships that matter, stay strong, and begin strategizing about our next chapter?

Our world has been profoundly shaken with the latest virus that has impacted our lives in the last few weeks. This pandemic is spreading quickly around our planet and as a result we are continually being updated by the media with some very scary and disturbing developments. 

  • Many thousands of people are becoming globally infected with Coronavirus (COVID-19)
  • Many people are dying from it
  • We know entirely too little about how it spreads and who is likely to be infected
  • Treatment and vaccines have yet to be developed and will probably arrive in a year or longer
  • Testing initiatives and services have been limited
  • Schools, businesses, sporting events, entertainment venues, large meetings, modes of transportation, et al are being closed until further notice
  • Some entire countries are now being required to stay indoors at home
  • The escalation of the problem continues and it appears that we all have to be concerned about protecting ourselves from the possibility of infection
  • Many people are so anxious that they are cleaning out stores of their supplies of toilet tissue, food, water, home supplies, disinfectants, etc.
  • And, perhaps worst of all, many of us are beginning to panic, resulting in a variety of reactions… shock, disbelief, fear, agony, sadness, guilt, weakness, anxiety, obsession, anger, helplessness, suspicion, and frustration

This international pandemic crisis has created a huge distraction from our daily routines. 

Many of us are experiencing loss of income, requirements to remain quarantined, and dilemmas on how to remain safe while trying to stay strong, and keep the business of living at some level of functional.

In addition, there exists a significant disruption in our perception of control of our own lives.  Because unpredictable is now the new normal, and many of us are also in the deep end of the emotional roller coaster, we can be easily distracted from our work, our responsibilities and our focus.  What can we do?  How do we stay focused instead of constantly worrying or remaining hostage to the latest newsbreak?

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Breaking News!

Here is something pretty terrific! I am so tickled!

I have just been featured in the California Business Journal — front page. I encourage you to take a look at it and let me know your thoughts.

Click here: California Business Journal

Many thanks to all of you for your ongoing interest and support. It is most appreciated!

At your service,

Dr. J. Mitchell Perry

How to Remember Names

Remembering their names… we all have trouble with this one.

How often do you notice that you forget people’s names? You will be at a reception and meet someone, and he will say, “Hello, my name is Steve Harrison.”  You will respond, “It is nice to meet you.” Then after five minutes of conversation you will have already forgotten his name.  Red Alert!

How embarrassing! Now you feel stupid because you just met this guy and are unable to remember his name.

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Managing Expectations

The “MEET AND EXCEED” METHOD
Common sense says that customer service and satisfaction are very important. Almost every business owner/leader will say that “customer service is their number one priority!” If that is so, why is it that customer service so often stinks?
Further, you may notice that when you finally decide to cancel your relationship with a service provider, the largest reason that you leave is likely because they failed to meet your expectations. More than half the time the service provider did a poor job at customer service and managing your expectations, which means that the relationship dimension of the service was given short shrift with you.

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Hiring for Character

HIRING for CHARACTER

What do you do when you have an important position to fill?

If you are like most people, you post an open position on your favorite job site or call the local recruiter with the specifications for the position.

How much do you really know about what you are getting when you plow through a mountain of resumes?

A resume can tell you whether the person is capable of performing the job.  A resume is unable to tell you much about the person behind it.

Can you afford to make the wrong hiring decision? What do you do when you have to fire someone?  Are you able to fire them or are they protected by a collective bargaining agreement, tenure or other reason?  Read more

Dealing with Difficult People in Business

People can be difficult… and dealing effectively with people in business is crucial to your success.  When you learn how to identify and deal more effectively with people’s behavior in business you are way ahead of the game, and your career (and sanity) will benefit enormously.  These skills and benefits can be of great value in the following circumstances: Read more

Axioms of Life

Rarely do we get much guidance or training on how to best live life. Most of us bumble through in a trial-and-error mode. Many of us end up behaving like everyone else, which is often counter-productive and a perfect illustration of peer pressure at work. Read more

EFFECTIVE LISTENING

Listening!  It’s what everyone wants in all relationships — business and personal — spouses want it most in each other, customers want it in customer service, bosses and subordinates want it from each other.

So what is going on?

Most of us spend our time rehearsing a response rather than listening to what was said… insanity!

So start learning to listen!

It’s Common Sense and remember, Common Sense is very Uncommon.

Dr. Mitchell Perry

Effective Listening

Are you a good communicator?

Communication Facts:
Effective Communication is fundamental to successful relationships – both personal and professional
We all communicate daily in some capacity to others
Most people are poor communicators
We get little if any training in effective communication
Yogi Berra once said, “Communication is 90% listening and the other half is talking.”

To the degree to which you can improve your listening skills you will immediately become a better communicator.

Listening is all about Selective Perception.

Selective Perception means viewing the world through a set of filters (culture, background, mood, attitude, emotions, etc.).  You see what you want to see.  You hear what you want to hear.

Keep in mind there are two levels of communication:

CONTENT — The Data — The Facts
What is said:  This is the basic factual data, without
any packaging.

CONTEXT — The Intent — The Packaging
How it is said:  When we notice context signals that
are more familiar to us, we naturally feel more
comfortable and have more rapport.

People respond far more to context than content so remain aware of the signals, the tone, volume, pitch, speed, expressions, body language, etc.  We are all programmed to respond to contextual signals so be aware of the signals you are giving and receiving.  They may convey a different message than you intend.  In every conversation remain conscious of the speaker’s content and context to be sure you get the right message.

Learn to Listen!  It is critical to make sure you understand others correctly.  Effective listening generates the following results:
It reduces the margin of error on what we heard
It allows the person who was speaking to us to reduce their defenses and relax
It helps keep the interchange on track
Remember, Listening is the best way to get your point across!

Today’s Tickle

The following questions were set in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons:
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on:
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.