DIFFERENTIATING BEHAVIORS

Hello!

To differentiate your brand… you must be entirely different from everyone else (instead of simply “better”) and your behavior most impacts the market, and their perception of you.  

It’s Common Sense and remember, Common Sense is very Uncommon.

Dr. Mitchell Perry
Differentiating Behaviors
How are you different? What can you do to set yourself apart?

  • Introduce yourself
  • Stand, shake hands, and make eye contact
  • Personalize by addressing your customer by name
  • Be an expert in your business
  • Make frequent contact with your customer
  • Write thank you notes
  • Write personal notes (remember something special)
  • Fast recognition
  • Have a positive attitude about yourself, your position, and your company
  • Learn to listen: Ask more and tell less – listening is the best way to get your point across
  • Learn to express yourself optimistically
  • Keep every promise
  • Commit to check in and follow up often, then do it! Go the extra mile – deliver more than you promise
  • Use humor and smile often
  • Consider incorporating some random acts of kindness into the relationship
  • Become a trusted advisor
  • Be a tailor – continually “custom tailor” your relationship with them

How many of these traits differentiate you in the eyes of YOUR customer? Which ones do you need to work on the most? Which ones already come easily to you?

Consider the following: If you can find out what your customer wants in his terms and then find a way to give it to him, you will succeed where others fail. This is the secret to all effective sales efforts. Sales is less about selling what you have to your client, but all about encouraging your client to buy what he wants from you. Remember, you want to create “The Pull” and avoid the push.

Today’s Tickle

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old
boy submitted to McDonald’s in Florida… and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

Name: Greg Bulmash

Sex: Not yet.  Still waiting for the right person.

Desired Position: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available.  If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.  If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education:  Yes

Last Position Held:  Target for middle management hostility.

Salary:  Less than I’m worth

Most Notable Achievement:  My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Reason for Leaving:  It sucked.

Hours Available to Work:  Any.

Preferred Hours:  1:30 – 3:30 pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

Do You Have Any Special Skills?  Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

May We Contact Your Current Employer? If I had one, would I be here?

Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting Up to 50 LBS?
Of What?

Do You Have A Car?  I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

Have You Received Any Special Awards or Recognition?  I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

Do You Smoke?  On the job, no; on my breaks, yes.

What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

Do You Certify That The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge?  Yes.  Absolutely.

Sign Here:  Aries

ENGAGING “THE PULL”

Hello,

Remember, when it comes to persuading others, there is a BIG difference between what is supposed to work and WHAT DOES. Use “The Pull” and LET THEM HAVE YOUR WAY.

Dr. Mitchell Perry  

 The Art of Ultimate Persuasion:
Engaging “The Pull”

When you are in a conversation with someone who is speaking, do you find yourself just waiting for him or her to stop talking so you can start?  And, while you are waiting are you rehearsing your beautifully prepared gospel according to you?

How often are you trying to force-feed others with your opinions?  Are you telling more than listening?  Does it often seem frustrating that people resist your advice and refuse to change?

You know your intentions are good, and your advice is great!  What gives?  What is wrong with these people?

Well, remember what Stephen Covey says in his
7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then be understood.”  The message here is that you are much more likely to get others to change when they conclude it makes sense to do so.  If you first understand them, they will be less resistant to your ideas and suggestions when you make them.

If you want others to change, you must ask first, and be prepared to listen.
1.   Ask first what is important to them, what’s on their mind, how do they feel, what’s going on, etc.
2.   Then listen.  Understand, empathize, learn, and appreciate their position.
3.   Then steer them to better conclusions.

It’s remarkable how much more receptive others will be toward your position when they have been heard first and understood.

So the message here is this:  When you are interested in persuading others and the issues are important to you, FIRST ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN.  When you do this, people will be less resistant to change and more likely to adjust their position and follow your suggestions.

When you “Pull” (instead of “push”) you “LET THEM HAVE YOUR WAY.”


Today’s Tickle

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who use more powerful weapons.
The 50-50-90 Rule:  Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine tax is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of people who lacked enough intelligence to get out of jury duty.   

WORLD CLASS SELLING

 

Hello,

 

People hate to be sold stuff, and they love to buy stuff!  Your job is to create a condition in which they want to buy.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
World Class Selling
Most people hate sales and salespeople… why?  Because most salespeople are garden variety.  What is “GARDEN VARIETY”?

They…

  • Sell too soon, which makes people uncomfortable and reluctant to proceed.
  • Ask the wrong questions, thus creating resistance.
  • Fail to get enough information, which puts the salesperson at a disadvantage.
  • Fail to create rapport, so the customer becomes agitated and manipulated.
  • Concentrate on the sale instead of the customer and the relationship.
But what do the BEST of the BEST salespersons know?  And how do you become a World Class Seller?  How do you separate yourself from the “herd”?  The first thing you must understand is the psychology of selling:
“PEOPLE HATE TO BE SOLD STUFF,
AND THEY LOVE TO BUY STUFF!”
So how do you get your customers to let down their defensive guards and be open and ready to buy from you?
First, instead of your trying to sell the product or service, you must create a condition where your customer wants to buy.  It requires skills and practice to create that condition.
Second, you must focus on your customers, understand their feelings, and build the necessary relationship glue.
Third, you must understand how your behavior determines the perception of value which your customer places on you and the relationship.
When the customer is convinced of the VALUE, the customer will buy —  your behavior has a HUGE impact on that value.
And last, you must learn the communication tools necessary to get your customer to say “yes.”
When you master these skills, you will be able to sell with all the class in the world and you, too, will be “The Best of the Best!

Today’s Tickle
Ever Wonder…
  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why women are unable to put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  • Why we have yet to see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
  • Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?
  • Why doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows 8?
  • Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
  • Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  • Why they have yet to make a whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
  • Why sheep fail to shrink when it rains?
  • Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • Why they call the airport “the terminal” if flying is so safe?
  • Why you drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?

Love and Marriage

When you get married, you marry the “courtship behavior.”  It’s insane to stop the very behavior you marry!

So, restore the courtship behavior and you strengthen your union together.

Dr. Mitchell Perry

    Love and Marriage

Regardless of how happy and fulfilling your marriage or relationship is, inevitably you will encounter difficulties and disappointments along the way.  Often times it is either because you have become emotionally malnourished, your relationship needs a tune-up, or perhaps the magic has faded.  To rebuild a relationship that has gotten lost over the years, you need a clear, compelling picture of the relationship you want.  Then you both must commit to creating and maintaining that partnership. 

A relationship lives in words and action, much like a play.  If your relationship has become its own version of a bad play, then to make a better play (relationship), you need to write and practice good scripts. 

One way that you can create good marriage scripts is by figuring out what you and your partner want out of the relationship.  In essence, it is time to “rewrite the screenplay.” 

Start by having the following dialogue with your partner:

  1. What do you want me to know about you? What do you want/need from me?  (Attention, time, listening, etc.)
  2. Here’s what I want you to know about me.  Here’s what I need from you.   
  3. How would you say our normal conversations work?
  4. What is our predictable screenplay?  
  5. What are the road blocks to improving our marriage?  (Self pity, score keeping, name calling, guilt trips, etc.)
  6. What are we going to do differently going forward?

Be sure to find out what your partner wants, and then give your partner what your partner wants.  YOU MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!

Remember what your woman wants, and give it to her, because you did during courtship!  Here is most likely what she wants:

  1. Listen to me and then listen some more (and look interested).
  2. Pay attention to me and BE with me… because “I am who I’m with.”
  3. Empathize and quit giving me advice (unless I ask for it). 
  4. Hold me, cherish me, show me I’m the one!  I must be the dominant source of your happiness.

Remember what your man wants, and give it to him, because you did during courtship!  Here is most likely what he wants:

  1. Look good, lose the weight, and dress up, because how you look is critical to me.
  2. Pay attention to me and DO with me… because “I am what I do.”
  3. Sexual gymnastics (complete with howling at the moon!)
  4. Treat me like a king!  I must be a big deal in your eyes.

Take these steps with your partner and see what happens.  Re-scripting your relationship can only lead to a better understanding of yourself… and your partner.

Then pay the freight, take initiative, practice new habits and restore the courtship.

And, remember reinforce more than you criticize… 5 times more!
 

Balancing Your Life

So you are in midlife and you notice life goes by so fast!
What’s the point? What really matters anyway?
Answer: Touching people’s lives and getting your life touched.

Dr. Mitchell Perry

Balancing Your Life

Most people want to be happy and successful. Ask yourself what that would mean to you. When you think of being quite happy what images come to mind? In addition, what does being very successful look like? Furthermore, what’s the point?

HAPPINESS IS CLOSENESS. When you think about experiences in life in which you were really happy, there were probably people in your memory and you were happy in large part because you felt CLOSE to those people. The closer you feel to people you care about, the happier you are. So, one objective in life is to establish, build, and maintain some quality and nourishing CLOSENESS in your relationships. Closeness is usually found and developed in your personal life.

SUCCESS IS ACHIEVEMENT. When you think of times in your life when you felt quite successful, you probably thought of things you achieved. Creating a goal and achieving it builds a solid sense of identity, strength, and autonomy. Continually achieving goals builds confidence and purpose which develops the self and creates independence. So, another objective in life is to continually realize success by realizing ACHIEVEMENTS. Success is usually found in your professional life.

CREATING BALANCE. Some form of balance between both dimensions of personal and professional life is essential for optimum success and happiness. People who are highly professionally successful (always achieving) but always personally unhappy (estranged, isolated, unconnected from people) are unbalanced on the success side. They often end up driven and angry. They must start creating valuable CLOSENESS to fix it.

Likewise, people who are personally very happy (close with significant people) yet very professionally unsuccessful (unable / unwilling to achieve anything) are unbalanced on the happiness side. They usually end up dependent, clingy, and fearful. They must begin to ACHIEVE things to fix it.

DEVELOP MEANING. Fulfillment in life comes when there is clear and evident meaning to your existence. Write down your basic governing values. Contribute something to society as part of paying the rent for your time here. Commit to something larger than yourself and watch the development of grace. Life is really about touching lives and getting your life touched as a result.

Develop closeness, commit to achieving, and life becomes balanced.

Then contribute to society in some way with your time, resources, and grace. Meaning emerges and so does fulfillment.

 Today’s Tickle
 These are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. newspapers:

 FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. ________________________________________________ 
 FREE PUPPIES Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. 
 Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. _____________________________________________________________ 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. _____________________________________________________________ 
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. ___________________________________________________________ 
 And the WINNER is… 
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. 
 Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. 
 No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Teamwork

Teamwork

I have been working with some of the biggest companies from around the world for over 35 years and inevitably I find that lack of productivity comes down to one thing — lack of Teamwork.

Teamwork is something that must be learned and practiced in order to be effective.  And just like top sport teams have to practice the skills, so do you in your professional lives.  I have noticed that most people are unaware of what really works when it comes to getting individuals to team.

Accepting and understanding the fact that people are different, and therefore, need to be treated as individuals is integral to the concept of teamwork.  The most successful teams recognize their differing member’s opinions, experiences, and working styles as a source of strength to the team.  Understanding the “style” of your teammates and applying them will increase levels of trust and credibility.

We have discovered what actually works when it comes to increasing team effectiveness.  I call it STAR-D.

START

TRUST

ASK

REINFORCE 

DIALOGUE

The STAR-D framework provides the skills to:

Shift the mindset from “you OR me” to “you AND me.”
Strengthen the “trust” between team members.
Capitalize on COOPERATION more than COMPETITION.
Reinforce the behaviors you wish to encourage.
Change the team dynamic through the use of language.
Empower your team by capitalizing on individual strengths.
Increase power.

Get results faster.
By learning and incorporating the skills of STAR-D the end result will be greater productivity and satisfaction for all team members.

Happy Holidays!

Hello Everyone,

Get your Merry on!

Dr. Mitchell Perry

 HO! HO! HO! JINGLE, JINGLE, JINGLE… OMG, IT’S KRIS KRINGLE!!!

It’s time for sleigh bells, and Santa, and children demanding,
Chocolates, and gingerbread… our waistlines expanding.

Off criticize, off chastise, and offload your Grinch,
On spiritize, on cheeryize – find your smile… it’s a cinch!

Your worry, your thrashing, your obsessing must leave,
With your family and friends, t’is the season to Believe.

As you imagine all day, your dreams warm and aglow,
Your lovee and you, smoochin’ ‘neath the mistletoe!

Fill the season with caroling, and be sure to be quick,
You know it’s for certain, you’ll be seen by St. Nick!

With Rudolph, and bubbly, and chestnuts together,
You can kick up your heels, and keep dancing forever!

As you think of the stockings, and tinsel, and bows, 
New clothes and shoes, from your head to your toes!

So start wrapping the presents, and hanging the holly,
Trimming the tree, and displaying your jolly!

Add the egg nog, the cakes, and the goodies gourmet,
You must join in the weight gain without further delay!

When your life is so touched, it’s the way of the heart,
You sure have touched ours, right from the start!

On our sleigh ride together, measure for measure,
Instead of “not bad”, it’s indeed been OUR PLEASURE! 

From all of us at JM PERRY, with abiding affection we bequeath,
For YOU and your MERRY, enjoy a smile, a hug, and a holiday wreath!

May you and yours have a VERY MERRY PERRY HOLIDAY!

MERRY MERRY FROM JM PERRY! 

November 2012

To get people to do what you want them to do, you must first position what you want in concert with what is important to them. 

Dr. Mitchell Perry

Communicating with Access Codes

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you meet someone and you get along with them easily?  Yet other times you meet someone and it seems to be uphill all the time.  You have to do lots of “maintenance” and getting along with them seems like a chore.  There are even times when you know someone for a long time and it is still always difficult to get along with them.  Why?  Because the people with whom you get along well are people who are wired like you, and the people with whom you have difficulty are wired differently.

Suppose you could understand more up front how people are wired and you could adjust your presentation and approach accordingly?  Getting along with people successfully is kind of like gaining “Access” to them.  When you understand their “Access Codes,” you can then inter-relate easily.

There are 8 Access Codes to consider when you approach people.  

The codes are:

Going Towards / Going Away
Trust / Suspicion
Strategic / Tactical
Warm-up / Direct
Empower / Control
Others / Self
Feelings / Facts
Process / Results

When you understand these codes and know how to use them, you will gain “ACCESS” much faster and get what you want.

For You, Radio Worth Your Time!

            Laugh, Learn, Live!

 “THE DR. MITCHELL PERRY SHOW”

Applied Common Sense*
*Because common sense is very uncommon…

The Dr. Mitchell Perry Show: Applied Common Sense* Because common sense is very uncommon… airs Saturdays from 9:00 am – 11:00 am (Pacific) on KVTA AM1520.  It is a little bit reasoning, a little bit education, a lot of laughs, and a whole lot of fun!  Every Saturday morning Dr. Perry takes calls LIVE on his radio show on everything — including relationships, business advice, personal growth, and the ever popular… “Common Sense is very Uncommon!”

He has a knack for saying it like it is without beating down his listeners.  You can be sure that if there is an answer to your problem, Dr. Perry will help you figure it out.  Listeners call in to get advice, discuss the day’s events or simply to give their opinion on the latest topics.

The number to call the studio live is toll free
855- DR-PERRY (377-3779).

If you missed the latest radio show or you want to hear Dr. Perry tackle your favorite topic once again, click on http://drmitchellperryshow.blogspot.com/ to find PODCASTS of The Dr. Mitchell Perry Show past radio shows.  
 

 Today’s Tickle
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known.  Here is what he had to say ABOUT GROWING OLDER…
First, eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Second, the older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third, some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me; I want people to know why I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
Fourth, when you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth, you know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth, I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh, one of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.
Eighth, one must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth, long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today it’s called golf.
And finally, if you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.