Foundations of Common Sense

Do What You Know!

In my many years in this profession, I am continually amazed, amused, and ultimately bewildered with how often people fail to practice Common Sense.                                               

Most all of us know what Common Sense is. It is obvious, pragmatic, practical, logical, prudent, and reflecting sound judgement. It is often right in front of our face! It’s so OBVIOUS, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS.

Though we know what Common Sense is, too many of us fail to actually apply and practice Common Sense.  We drop the ball when it comes to DOING WHAT WE KNOW.

Something happens when we snatch a rationalization from the jaws of logic.  We stall and lie to ourselves that we will get around to doing it real soon.

Instead, we continually practice insanity. We keep doing the same thing again and again with the illusion that if we keep doing that same thing we will encounter a different result.  INSANITY!!!

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Amplifying Your Persuasive Influence with The Magic of “Seduction”

Part 3 of The Art of Persuasion: “THE PULL©” – Universal Influence Series

 Sometimes when you encounter people you will notice that they seem to have the “Magic.” They have that idiosyncratic special gift of personal genius that makes them powerful, influential, entertaining, persuasive, and seemingly supernatural.

People with that gift make us happy, laugh, excited, entertained, and willing and eager to buy what they are selling. A popular term about people like that is “he can sell igloos to Eskimos!”

Have you ever looked at how they do what they do? Have you ever noticed what makes you get so impacted and persuaded when they are around?

I call people like that SEDUCTIVE and you will often pay good money to get the experience of being SEDUCED!

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BASIC COMMON SENSE HABITS FOR HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, AND FINANCIAL SECURITY

Replace bad habits with good ones… and add common sense

Most of us want to be happy and successful, and yet rarely do we receive any education or guidance on how to achieve those competencies.

Happiness is routinely connected with good, close, and functional relationships.

Success is often connected with having fiscal literacy and being good with money.

As you get older and continue to experience the way life is, you will learn some lessons about what is really important.  Among the lessons we learn are perhaps the two most important; how to be happy and how to be successful. Read more

YOU ARE PREVENTING WHAT YOU WANT

When You Want Connection and Reinforcement from Others

Do you want to be complimented, loved, admired, and respected?

You may be unaware that you are continually preventing the very thing you want.

After several decades of experience in my psychotherapy practice helping people to achieve much more functional lives and satisfying relationships, it is clear to me that virtually everyone wants the same thing.   Read more

HAPPY OR UNHAPPY?

Most of us want to be happy, and yet, too many of us are consumed with our crankiness, fear, depression, feeling unloved, insecurity, being miserable, feeling inadequate, feeling betrayed, etc., essentially being wrapped up in chronic unhappiness!

In addition, I am often struck with the large population of people who are persistently stuck in unhappiness. These malcontents are often whining, bellyaching, criticizing, obsessing, bleating, condemning, catastrophizing, awfulizing, and complaining. 

I believe that people will keep choosing familiar routines like this simply because they are familiar, regardless of whether they like it or dislike it.  Some examples of this are below. 

THE RESTAURANT

You go to the same restaurant and order the same item on the menu. This routine is common and it is a great habit if you really like that restaurant and that particular item on the menu. Some of us do! Read more

LEARN TO SAY “NO!”

Most of us have real difficulty saying “NO.”

When we say “YES” rather than “NO” (which is often what we really want to say,) we get caught in a bind of one of the following:

  • We have enabled the other person(s) to take advantage of us.
  • We feel conflicted because they are perfectly able to do the work themselves and yet they want to be rescued… and we accommodate them.
  • They are sometimes playing “victim,” (a very popular state of mind these days) where they want to be saved, and we save them because we feel guilty.
  • We are more willing to be nice, popular, and helpful rather than encouraging the other person to solve the issue themselves.

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IT’S YOUR LIFE! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER!

Oh my!  Do you notice what is going on around the world and especially in the United States? 

  • People are routinely being gunned down in churches, synagogues, theaters, entertainment events, schools, companies, governments, and homes.
  • Parents are attempting to bribe universities in order to gain admission for their children.
  • Highly respected manufacturers are being accused of significant crimes and misdemeanors while they betray their markets, deny everything, and attempt to defend themselves.
  • Politicians seem to be more interested in keeping their jobs, rather than actually doing their jobs. 

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RECONCILING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS

LOVE WHAT YOU CAN LOVE, AND LET THE REST GO
HARVEST THE BEST, OFFLOAD THE REST

Part 1. Your new state of mind (your viewpoint).
Love What You Can Love and Let the Rest Go.

Part 2. Your new habits – (your conduct)

What is one of the most challenging dilemmas of life? It is trying to reconcile the gap between how much you love a family member and how much that same family member drives you crazy. Most of the time the targeted individuals are YOUR PARENTS; your MOTHER and/or your FATHER. Sometimes this dilemma appears to be irreconcilable!

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Embrace the Obvious… Practice Common Sense!

Embrace the obvious!

One of the most curious things about people is their difficulty in recognizing the obvious — that which is right in front of their faces.  Do you ever notice that when you are looking for your keys, they are in your hand?  How about when you want to find your glasses and they are sitting right on top of your head?  Read more

Pride is Very Expensive!

DOES PRIDE GET IN THE WAY OF COMMON SENSE?

Do you know someone who:

  • Holds on to a grudge for years
  • Has an inflated view of their own importance
  • Is self-righteous, sanctimonious, and “holier-than-thou”
  • Likes to win and hates to lose
  • Has to be “right”
  • Likes to argue and debate everything
  • Wants to avoid taking responsibility
  • Refuses to admit mistakes
  • Criticizes and blames everyone else
  • Believes life must be fair and equal with everyone all the time
  • Is suspicious of others and constantly defensive
  • Is easily hurt, victimized, and takes everything personally
  • Covers up hurt with anger
  • Plays victim and whines about the delicious agony of life
  • Has difficulty recovering from a failure or set-back
  • Denies their bad conduct and instead protests that they were misunderstood
  • Accuses others of the very behavior they routinely display

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