Pride is Very Expensive!

DOES PRIDE GET IN THE WAY OF COMMON SENSE?

Do you know someone who:

  • Holds on to a grudge for years
  • Has an inflated view of their own importance
  • Is self-righteous, sanctimonious, and “holier-than-thou”
  • Likes to win and hates to lose
  • Has to be “right”
  • Likes to argue and debate everything
  • Wants to avoid taking responsibility
  • Refuses to admit mistakes
  • Criticizes and blames everyone else
  • Believes life must be fair and equal with everyone all the time
  • Is suspicious of others and constantly defensive
  • Is easily hurt, victimized, and takes everything personally
  • Covers up hurt with anger
  • Plays victim and whines about the delicious agony of life
  • Has difficulty recovering from a failure or set-back
  • Denies their bad conduct and instead protests that they were misunderstood
  • Accuses others of the very behavior they routinely display

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Professional Victims

It appears that playing “victim” in the U.S. is getting more popular these days. I’m struck with all the whining, blaming, accusing, and bellyaching.     It seems like playing the victim is now becoming fashionable!   

Many people unconsciously play a victim role and, in so doing, they enable others to mistreat, criticize, take advantage, and be disrespectful to them. Others consciously choose to play victim so that they can continue to be irresponsible and blame others for their misfortunes.  Read more

DEALING WITH SELF-PITY IN OTHERS

How to Deal with People Feeling Sorry for Themselves

When you encounter people who are good at playing the role of professional victim, you will often notice that you routinely get seduced by them because they whine and they want an audience. When people swim around in the pity pot they often want you to feel sorry for them so they can describe the breadth of their terrible situation without any interest in solving it or doing anything about it. They simply want you to pay attention to them while they enjoy the “poor me” and describe the “delicious agony of life.” There seems to be something curiously attractive about being a victim and a martyr… apparently sacrificing yourself does get attention.  They will often say things to you like, “You couldn’t possibly understand what I have been through.”  Then you can expect them to waste your time while they describe the “poor me” in great detail and they can enjoy their victimhood and contest of who is the most oppressed person.  You will want to appear interested and likely conclude that you have enabled them to play victim while you are trying to be nice, empathetic, and appreciative of their plight.

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Breaking News!

Here is something pretty terrific! I am so tickled!

I have just been featured in the California Business Journal — front page. I encourage you to take a look at it and let me know your thoughts.

Click here: California Business Journal

Many thanks to all of you for your ongoing interest and support. It is most appreciated!

At your service,

Dr. J. Mitchell Perry

How Do You Handle People Who Talk Too Much?

SOME PEOPLE ARE TALKERS; they just love to talk and keep on talking. They are able to change subjects at a moment’s notice, rarely completing one thought before starting another. Blah, Blah, Blah.  You have probably known people like this.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

How do you deal with these professional talkers? Most of the time, you probably wait for them to STOP TALKING.  You may be concerned that you will be RUDE if you interrupt them, so you simply wait and hope they will stop… AND THEY KEEP TALKING! Read more

How to Remember Names

Remembering their names… we all have trouble with this one.

How often do you notice that you forget people’s names? You will be at a reception and meet someone, and he will say, “Hello, my name is Steve Harrison.”  You will respond, “It is nice to meet you.” Then after five minutes of conversation you will have already forgotten his name.  Red Alert!

How embarrassing! Now you feel stupid because you just met this guy and are unable to remember his name.

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MISERY LOVES COMPANY

Are we becoming infected?

I am afraid sometimes that I am. Yikes!

 

The whining, the criticizing, the condemning, the blaming, the bellyaching, the awfulizing, the complaining, the catastrophizing, the obsessing… all delivered by so many victims and malcontents. Oh my, enough already!

For many decades, the media has routinely delivered the news and it has almost always been bad. Whether you see it, read it, or listen to it… it is 90% BAD NEWS.

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Managing Expectations

The “MEET AND EXCEED” METHOD
Common sense says that customer service and satisfaction are very important. Almost every business owner/leader will say that “customer service is their number one priority!” If that is so, why is it that customer service so often stinks?
Further, you may notice that when you finally decide to cancel your relationship with a service provider, the largest reason that you leave is likely because they failed to meet your expectations. More than half the time the service provider did a poor job at customer service and managing your expectations, which means that the relationship dimension of the service was given short shrift with you.

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Failures and Life’s Lessons

One of the most important axioms of life is: LIFE IS OFTEN ABOUT LEARNING LESSONS, AND LESSONS WILL BE REPEATED UNTIL THEY ARE LEARNED.

This could clearly suggest that it would be COMMON SENSE to learn the lessons with all dispatch. On the other hand, common sense is very uncommon.

This axiom certainly seems to apply to most all of us, and if you think about the development of the human species over the last few thousand years, it can be successfully argued that these lessons continue to be repeated with entirely too little progress in the “LEARNING” department, particularly when it comes to how people conduct themselves around one another.

So, let’s take a look at how we might learn lessons sooner and more effectively in order to make faster course corrections and improvements in our lives.

Most of us want to succeed, and in addition, we generally want to AVOID FAILURE in life. Yet WHEN WE FAIL, WE ARE LIKELY TO LEARN THE MOST LESSONS, if we learn them at all.

Therefore, consider the following options and decide which is more likely to help us learn lessons sooner.

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