Staying Focused and Effective during this Global Pandemic Crisis 2020

How do we start effectively coping with our anxiety, fear, catastrophizing, awfulizing, and obsessing?

How do we live with less, manage in the meantime, do the maintenance on our relationships that matter, stay strong, and begin strategizing about our next chapter?

Our world has been profoundly shaken with the latest virus that has impacted our lives in the last few weeks. This pandemic is spreading quickly around our planet and as a result we are continually being updated by the media with some very scary and disturbing developments. 

  • Many thousands of people are becoming globally infected with Coronavirus (COVID-19)
  • Many people are dying from it
  • We know entirely too little about how it spreads and who is likely to be infected
  • Treatment and vaccines have yet to be developed and will probably arrive in a year or longer
  • Testing initiatives and services have been limited
  • Schools, businesses, sporting events, entertainment venues, large meetings, modes of transportation, et al are being closed until further notice
  • Some entire countries are now being required to stay indoors at home
  • The escalation of the problem continues and it appears that we all have to be concerned about protecting ourselves from the possibility of infection
  • Many people are so anxious that they are cleaning out stores of their supplies of toilet tissue, food, water, home supplies, disinfectants, etc.
  • And, perhaps worst of all, many of us are beginning to panic, resulting in a variety of reactions… shock, disbelief, fear, agony, sadness, guilt, weakness, anxiety, obsession, anger, helplessness, suspicion, and frustration

This international pandemic crisis has created a huge distraction from our daily routines. 

Many of us are experiencing loss of income, requirements to remain quarantined, and dilemmas on how to remain safe while trying to stay strong, and keep the business of living at some level of functional.

In addition, there exists a significant disruption in our perception of control of our own lives.  Because unpredictable is now the new normal, and many of us are also in the deep end of the emotional roller coaster, we can be easily distracted from our work, our responsibilities and our focus.  What can we do?  How do we stay focused instead of constantly worrying or remaining hostage to the latest newsbreak?

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It’s Like Driving Me Like Crazy!

It appears that the most contagious habit that is sweeping the country today is the use of the word “LIKE.” It’s a disease that is infecting everyone.

IT’S LIKE DRIVING ME LIKE CRAZY!

I have been thinking and reflecting about how it all started… slow at first, back in the day.   Then gradually increasing the infection to young people, to these days, like today, everyone and I mean like everyone is like speaking this way.  Both genders from elementary school kids, to young adults, to middle-aged people, and even “distinguished” people, you know the like gray-haired set.

When did it like start? As far as I can remember, it started during the 1950’s with “beatniks” like Maynard G. Krebs on the TV show “Dobie Gillis” where Maynard said with cool style in the coffee house, “It’s like cool, man!”

Fast forward to the 1980’s when young girls in San Fernando Valley became increasingly infected with a speech pattern called “Valley Speak” which became a 1983 movie “Valley Girl,” followed by a hugely successful movie in 1995 called “Clueless.” “Like I’m sure…”

What is mind boggling is how EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE SPEAKING THIS WAY! Watch TV morning shows such as “The Today Show,” “Good Morning America,”  “the View,” etc.  Check out TV hosts, commentators, politicians, pundits, celebrities, entertainers, college professors, medical professionals, etc.  Like it seems so like chronic.    

It’s like everywhere! Even on TV shows like “The Bachelor.”  See popular late night host, Jimmy Kimmel, making fun of all the women of the “The Bachelor” here:  Jimmy Kimmel Live

Recently I was watching CNN and this woman commentator was complaining about a popular politician and she said, “There is like no level to which this guy will not like stoop, to not like take responsibility for like what he has like done.”

AND I WAS LIKE WHAT?

LIKE is an irritating filler, and it makes people look and sound stupid.

 

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Foundations of Common Sense

Do What You Know!

In my many years in this profession, I am continually amazed, amused, and ultimately bewildered with how often people fail to practice Common Sense.                                               

Most all of us know what Common Sense is. It is obvious, pragmatic, practical, logical, prudent, and reflecting sound judgement. It is often right in front of our face! It’s so OBVIOUS, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS.

Though we know what Common Sense is, too many of us fail to actually apply and practice Common Sense.  We drop the ball when it comes to DOING WHAT WE KNOW.

Something happens when we snatch a rationalization from the jaws of logic.  We stall and lie to ourselves that we will get around to doing it real soon.

Instead, we continually practice insanity. We keep doing the same thing again and again with the illusion that if we keep doing that same thing we will encounter a different result.  INSANITY!!!

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Amplifying Your Persuasive Influence with The Magic of “Seduction”

Part 3 of The Art of Persuasion: “THE PULL©” – Universal Influence Series

 Sometimes when you encounter people you will notice that they seem to have the “Magic.” They have that idiosyncratic special gift of personal genius that makes them powerful, influential, entertaining, persuasive, and seemingly supernatural.

People with that gift make us happy, laugh, excited, entertained, and willing and eager to buy what they are selling. A popular term about people like that is “he can sell igloos to Eskimos!”

Have you ever looked at how they do what they do? Have you ever noticed what makes you get so impacted and persuaded when they are around?

I call people like that SEDUCTIVE and you will often pay good money to get the experience of being SEDUCED!

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BASIC COMMON SENSE HABITS FOR HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, AND FINANCIAL SECURITY

Replace bad habits with good ones… and add common sense

Most of us want to be happy and successful, and yet rarely do we receive any education or guidance on how to achieve those competencies.

Happiness is routinely connected with good, close, and functional relationships.

Success is often connected with having fiscal literacy and being good with money.

As you get older and continue to experience the way life is, you will learn some lessons about what is really important.  Among the lessons we learn are perhaps the two most important; how to be happy and how to be successful. Read more

YOU ARE PREVENTING WHAT YOU WANT

When You Want Connection and Reinforcement from Others

Do you want to be complimented, loved, admired, and respected?

You may be unaware that you are continually preventing the very thing you want.

After several decades of experience in my psychotherapy practice helping people to achieve much more functional lives and satisfying relationships, it is clear to me that virtually everyone wants the same thing.   Read more

HAPPY OR UNHAPPY?

Most of us want to be happy, and yet, too many of us are consumed with our crankiness, fear, depression, feeling unloved, insecurity, being miserable, feeling inadequate, feeling betrayed, etc., essentially being wrapped up in chronic unhappiness!

In addition, I am often struck with the large population of people who are persistently stuck in unhappiness. These malcontents are often whining, bellyaching, criticizing, obsessing, bleating, condemning, catastrophizing, awfulizing, and complaining. 

I believe that people will keep choosing familiar routines like this simply because they are familiar, regardless of whether they like it or dislike it.  Some examples of this are below. 

THE RESTAURANT

You go to the same restaurant and order the same item on the menu. This routine is common and it is a great habit if you really like that restaurant and that particular item on the menu. Some of us do! Read more

LEARN TO SAY “NO!”

Most of us have real difficulty saying “NO.”

When we say “YES” rather than “NO” (which is often what we really want to say,) we get caught in a bind of one of the following:

  • We have enabled the other person(s) to take advantage of us.
  • We feel conflicted because they are perfectly able to do the work themselves and yet they want to be rescued… and we accommodate them.
  • They are sometimes playing “victim,” (a very popular state of mind these days) where they want to be saved, and we save them because we feel guilty.
  • We are more willing to be nice, popular, and helpful rather than encouraging the other person to solve the issue themselves.

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IT’S YOUR LIFE! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER!

Oh my!  Do you notice what is going on around the world and especially in the United States? 

  • People are routinely being gunned down in churches, synagogues, theaters, entertainment events, schools, companies, governments, and homes.
  • Parents are attempting to bribe universities in order to gain admission for their children.
  • Highly respected manufacturers are being accused of significant crimes and misdemeanors while they betray their markets, deny everything, and attempt to defend themselves.
  • Politicians seem to be more interested in keeping their jobs, rather than actually doing their jobs. 

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RECONCILING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENTS

LOVE WHAT YOU CAN LOVE, AND LET THE REST GO
HARVEST THE BEST, OFFLOAD THE REST

Part 1. Your new state of mind (your viewpoint).
Love What You Can Love and Let the Rest Go.

Part 2. Your new habits – (your conduct)

What is one of the most challenging dilemmas of life? It is trying to reconcile the gap between how much you love a family member and how much that same family member drives you crazy. Most of the time the targeted individuals are YOUR PARENTS; your MOTHER and/or your FATHER. Sometimes this dilemma appears to be irreconcilable!

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