Use the words, “Let’s suppose…”
The Rule of Familiarity
People will keep doing what they are familiar with doing simply because they are familiar with doing it or, people are creatures of habit. If you run across someone who is continually critical, all they ever do is judge, they are critical and have a pejorative nature, and you ask yourself, “Why is that person so critical?” Well, the answer is, they are good at it. They have been practicing for a long time. Let’s suppose that that person is you and you want to change your behavior, you replace the ongoing criticism with ongoing reinforcement. You have to do it long enough so that the reinforcement is more frequent than the criticism. The whole idea is that if people are creatures of habit, you have to get the new habit to stick long enough so that it becomes routine. So, practice!
Patch Adams —- This Saturday!!!
PATCH ADAMS! THAT’S RIGHT FROM THE MOVIE!…THE REAL PATCH ADAMS IS ON MY SHOW THIS COMING SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 1. He will discuss health care and other things during the first hour. That and more on my next radio show -Tune in to “THE DR. MITCHELL PERRY SHOW – Sat. mornings – 9:00-11:00am (PST)- KVTA AM 1520 on the radio or listen later to the podcast by going to http://www.drmitchellperry.com/ and click on “Radio Show” -write me here now with your questions or call me on the air! toll free 855 DR PERRY (377-3779).
Prescriptions For Life Chapter Two
Dr. Perry continues his series expanding on his Prescriptions For Life.
Life is Fair and it is Unfair
When you are listening to children, they often will say things like, “That’s just not fair.” And if you are their parent, you will hear yourself saying “that’s right that is unfair.” On the other hand, if you’re a grown-up, you will notice that you spend a lot of time listening to yourself or other people say, “That’s just not fair.” What they do is they spend more time describing the problem rather than solving it. Well, if you really want to think about it, life is unfair, and life is fair and life is both. So, if you think about it in that context, you are much more likely to want to solve the problem, capitalize on the fair parts and figure out a way to overcome the unfair parts. Life is fair. Life is unfair and Life is both. Play those cards and you will get better results
Resolving Conflict – Engaging the Process
Ask for ideas first.
Taking Responsibility for Yourself
Do you know what drives me nuts? It’s that so many people in this country somehow feel entitled. Somehow they have this notion that the world owes them a living; poor me, somebody else is responsible for my problems. I’m not responsible; somebody owes me money. You know that whole notion that somehow somebody else ought to be responsible for you? It drives me crazy and it lowers standards in this country. So what do we do about this? Well, if you’re a grown-up, decide that you are responsible for your behavior you’re responsible for your actions, your feelings and for your outcomes. When you’re more responsible you behave more like a grown-up and moreover, you really are setting a much better example for your kids and for people in the community. So, take more responsibility for yourself. Do it now!
Dr. Perry’s Prescriptions For Life: Chapter One
In this podcast from my radio show I expand on my nationally syndicated feature “Prescriptions For Life”. This program includes “Taking Things Too Personally” with listener call-ins and participation. Cheers!
Compromise – Resolving Conflicts
Compromise and create forward movement.
Being Accurate vs. Being Effective
Sometimes when you’re accurate and you tell people an accurate answer, they have trouble with the way it sounds and they push back. If you say things like, “Generally this is what people do.” The reaction might be, “No, that’s not what I do.” So, how do you get people to accept information? What you do is build in cushion words. Cushion words are words that allow some degree of flexibility so people will be less defensive. So instead of saying, “This is what people do,” you would say, “Often, this is what people seem to do.” If you put the seem to, appears that , etc.., in there, people will accept the information with a lot less resistance and you are going to get your point across. So, put some cushion words in there and it will tend to improve.