Constructive Criticism

People are often uncomfortable getting criticism and it makes them feel bad.  Sometimes we set them up and it makes it worse.  We say, “Well, gee, Bob, you are doing a good job… but… this isn’t very good and that’s pretty bad too.”  If you set them up that way, it makes the situation worse because even if Bob is doing a good job he is unlikely to hear that.  My recommendation is when you tell people what they are doing right; make sure you tell them the good news after the bad news.  Say something like this, “Bob, I really want you to work on your customer service skills, and I am telling you this because your technical skills are absolutely brilliant and you add so much value around here.”  If you tell them the bad news first and then the good news after that, you’ll get by far better sign-up and changed behavior. 



Remember, when it comes to persuading others, there is a BIG difference between what is supposed to work and WHAT DOES. Use “The Pull” and LET THEM HAVE YOUR WAY.

Dr. Mitchell Perry  

 The Art of Ultimate Persuasion:
Engaging “The Pull”

When you are in a conversation with someone who is speaking, do you find yourself just waiting for him or her to stop talking so you can start?  And, while you are waiting are you rehearsing your beautifully prepared gospel according to you?

How often are you trying to force-feed others with your opinions?  Are you telling more than listening?  Does it often seem frustrating that people resist your advice and refuse to change?

You know your intentions are good, and your advice is great!  What gives?  What is wrong with these people?

Well, remember what Stephen Covey says in his
7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then be understood.”  The message here is that you are much more likely to get others to change when they conclude it makes sense to do so.  If you first understand them, they will be less resistant to your ideas and suggestions when you make them.

If you want others to change, you must ask first, and be prepared to listen.
1.   Ask first what is important to them, what’s on their mind, how do they feel, what’s going on, etc.
2.   Then listen.  Understand, empathize, learn, and appreciate their position.
3.   Then steer them to better conclusions.

It’s remarkable how much more receptive others will be toward your position when they have been heard first and understood.

So the message here is this:  When you are interested in persuading others and the issues are important to you, FIRST ASK QUESTIONS AND LISTEN.  When you do this, people will be less resistant to change and more likely to adjust their position and follow your suggestions.

When you “Pull” (instead of “push”) you “LET THEM HAVE YOUR WAY.”

Today’s Tickle

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who use more powerful weapons.
The 50-50-90 Rule:  Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine tax is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of people who lacked enough intelligence to get out of jury duty.


When you think about life, whether at work or at home, you really would like to be told more often what you are doing right. Most of the time there are three options of what you can get: criticism, you can be told what you are doing right or you get nothing (silence). Mostly we get criticism or very little of anything. We want more reinforcement. I encourage you to give more reinforcement. Tell people what they are doing right, write them a note, tell them out loud, or make a toast of them in public. Whatever it is, tell them what they are doing right and be specific. Instead of just saying, good job” say, “I want you to know that you did a wonderful job it added a lot of value and here’s specifically how well you did…” So remember, tell people what they are doing right. You are at low risk of doing it too much.

Marriage – The Marriage Functional Union

If you want to keep your marriage healthy it is important to remember this acronym: 2-first. 2-first stands for the following: Tolerance, Openness, Flexibility, Investment, Respect, Support and Trust. If you can remember these, you’ll think, “To first get my relationship healthy, I have to remember those items.” Tolerance, Openness, Flexibility, Investment, Respect, Support and Trust. When you think of it in those terms, you are more likely to keep it on your radar at which point you are going to improve your marriage’ health.

Losing Weight – Returning to the Refrigerator

Do you ever notice yourself returning to the fridge?  You have just finished eating something and you go back to the fridge to see what else is in there.  You looked in there for the last three minutes; on the other hand, maybe something else magically appeared.  The deal is that you return to the fridge out of sheer habit, and often because you are bored or have little to do.  The way to change that behavior is to do something different.  Instead of saying that you are going to stop going to the fridge, you say that you are going to start doing something else; take a walk around the house, take a walk around the neighborhood, or read a magazine.  When you do something other than return to the fridge, you are going to break the habit.

Losing Weight – Unconscious Eating

Do you ever notice when food is in front of you it just starts automatically getting stuffed into your face?  A lot of people with weight problems unconsciously eat.  The food is there and they start grazing and they are talking or watching television and they automatically shovel it in on automatic pilot.  Start noticing how you eat.  Start keeping a journal.  This will point out what you are eating, how much, and when you are eating.  Do this for two weeks and you’ll start noticing how automatic it is.  When you keep a food journal you become more conscious of what you are doing and you now have control.





People hate to be sold stuff, and they love to buy stuff!  Your job is to create a condition in which they want to buy.
Dr. Mitchell Perry
World Class Selling

Most people hate sales and salespeople… why?  Because most salespeople are garden variety.  What is “GARDEN VARIETY”?


  • Sell too soon, which makes people uncomfortable and reluctant to proceed.
  • Ask the wrong questions, thus creating resistance.
  • Fail to get enough information, which puts the salesperson at a disadvantage.
  • Fail to create rapport, so the customer becomes agitated and manipulated.
  • Concentrate on the sale instead of the customer and the relationship.
But what do the BEST of the BEST salespersons know?  And how do you become a World Class Seller?  How do you separate yourself from the “herd”?  The first thing you must understand is the psychology of selling:
So how do you get your customers to let down their defensive guards and be open and ready to buy from you?
First, instead of your trying to sell the product or service, you must create a condition where your customer wants to buy.  It requires skills and practice to create that condition.
Second, you must focus on your customers, understand their feelings, and build the necessary relationship glue.
Third, you must understand how your behavior determines the perception of value which your customer places on you and the relationship.
When the customer is convinced of the VALUE, the customer will buy —  your behavior has a HUGE impact on that value.
And last, you must learn the communication tools necessary to get your customer to say “yes.”
When you master these skills, you will be able to sell with all the class in the world and you, too, will be “The Best of the Best!


Today’s Tickle
Ever Wonder…
  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why women are unable to put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  • Why we have yet to see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
  • Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?
  • Why doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows 8?
  • Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
  • Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  • Why they have yet to make a whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
  • Why sheep fail to shrink when it rains?
  • Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • Why they call the airport “the terminal” if flying is so safe?
  • Why you drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?